No one fucks with god….

I will…. Just watch…


  I blinked slowly, looking down at the music laid out in front of me. ‘Fuel’ by Metallica. It didn’t look hard, but the growing ache that was swelling my brain refused to let me think. I breathed out heavily laying back on the carpet, staring at the wooden roof. I fiddled with the long dark glove on my left hand, an old habit.  
  My style was odd; I had stolen a pair of my boyfriend’s shorts. I practically lived in them; the baggy style and black pinstriped material was the only thing that really suited my figure. I wore a long-ish black baggy Metallica shirt that I tied up at the back with a rubber band. My hair was chopped short, and looked messy, like I just got up. It was a really dark brown, with copper and gold-blonde chunks. On my feet, I had a pair of black skate shoes, with graffiti on the sides and bright fluro green laces. I lived in them to, occasionally switching to a pair of Converse Hi-Tops that I only used when I was going out somewhere that needed me to dress a little more than just average.   
  “So, what are we doing?” a small voice popped me back into reality. I sat up and looked at Karma, the source of the question. I blinked n shrugged a little. We really weren’t going to get very far with this attitude in the room.
   I stared at her, remotely taking in her odd style. Her hair was layered and neatly combed to one side; coloured with a bottle honey, mousy blonde. Not too out there but oddly feminine compared to the rest of her. My eyes continued down to her shirt that was black with pink writing that read ‘Peace and Love’. Her pants were classic emo. Black skinny legs that really suited her slim form. To top it off, a pair of bright pink converse that hurt to look at.
  I flicked muh eyes back down to the music in front of me and stared for a second. The music made sense to me. I could hear every dot on the page come to life in my mind. I was the only one in the band to actually be able to read music. Well, Karma could a little, she was better at just listening and copying.
  “I dunno,” I said finally, looking back to Karma. She gave me a blank look before sighing. That was a classic answer from me. I just couldn’t be fucked. None of what we played these days engaged me. I felt like I wanted to race ahead and do all this fancy guitar work that I was taught. But the songs we were playing let me down.
  I looked round the large room we were in. There was gear everywhere; amps, guitars, mixing desks, and then there was my pride and joy. A genuine Gibson X-Plorer that I playfully nicknamed ‘Alaskan Diesel’. It was white, with black trim around every chamfer. I had saved for 3 years to get him, and I rarely played a gig without him.
  I looked back the music on the floor in front of me. Taking in every note. Strum, pause, attack, slide, hammer on, chorus, repeat. It all started filling my head.
  Ok that’s it. I leaned over n picked up the X-Plorer, laying it over my leg, fiddling wit the strings, pushing them up and down the frets. Another weird habit. Slowly each note felt its way down my fingers, and the music finally started sounding like it was meant to.
  “It’s really not that hard,” I mumbled, drowned out by my playing. I looked to my hands moving over the frets, and suddenly stopped. “Ugh, what ever,” I said, audibly now. I coughed slightly, before getting up and stretching; my back was killing me, as was my head.
  Karma looked at me, before shaken her head and turning away. I ignored that for now, I couldn’t be bothered with the attitude.
  “Spike, can you quit with the attitude,” Karma suddenly snapped. “You’ve suddenly got it in you’re head that your shit don’t stink!” I paused. I heap of things ran through my head.

Haven’t you noticed the hours of work I put into this.

Haven’t you notice my focus, my obsession.

Haven’t you noticed how much I put up with?

  “I have worked my fucking ass off for this band,” I said, angering “I’m practicing so fucking much that my standards lifted. No one else seems to have done much else” I was contained. I hoped silently that she didn’t keep pushing. That could be bad.
  She didn’t continue, and for that I was glad. I lifted my X-Plorer into its case and locked it. I sighed before grabbing my car keys and walking out, guitar case in hand. This wasn’t going to get any further anyway. It was becoming more and more pointless each time.
  I sighed loudly when I finally got to my car, carefully placing my guitar in the boot, before sitting in the white Lancer. I roughly pushed the key into the ignition, and waited for the Metallica disc in the CD player to blast my ears out. When I could hear the distinct sound of Kirk Hammets solo pumping through my speakers, I finally started the car.
  I always felt more comfortable in my car. I was alone, surrounded in the swelling noises of the best band in the world. It was calming.
   I finally pulled out from the kerb, and headed down the street. I really didn’t pay much attention to the speed limit, this area was almost always deserted and I didn’t have that much to look for, except the odd pedestrian.
  “Ugh, I need more music,” I said to myself, just as my CD player spat ‘The Black Album’ out. I turned onto the main street, before pulling down my sun visor, where I stashed my discs. I jumped slightly when a rogue disc fell into my lap. I flicked my eyes down to the disc to read its title, which said ‘Awesome Solos’ written roughly in black texta. I recognised the hand writing instantly. My boyfriend.
  “Axel is trying to kill me. Yet again,” I smirked to myself before pushing it into the CD player. I didn’t know what to expect, other than really, a bunch of ‘Awesome Solos’. He didn’t warn me about this stuff, just putting music where I would find it, and letting me listen to it in my own time.
  The music jumped quickly from my speaker, pumping out with such force that my heart skipped a beat. It was fast, technically, and bordering electronic. But it was unique, and I was instantly hooked on every riff, every lick, and every note. But I still didn’t know who the heck it was.
  Something stirred in me, and I just had to know what was chucking the lyrical spaz through my speakers. I pulled over, u-turned, and headed towards my boyfriends house.
  Nearly every song had played when I pulled into his parent’s house, but I sat and waited patiently for the last song to finish, before I ejected the disc and headed inside.
  I didn’t knock, like normal I let myself inside and headed towards the kitchen. I had barely taken I step onto the lino floor, when his mum spoke.
  “I’ll give you three guesses, and the first 2 don’t count,” she said smiling. I laughed before, thanking her and walking out. It was our little inside joke, because 90% of his time was spent playing Guitar Hero. I stopped just outside his door, and rapped my knuckles against the wood.
  “What?” was the reply I got. I shook my head and let myself in, the CD still in my hand. Surprisingly, he was lying on his bed, doing nothing. Absolute nothing wasn’t something he really did. ‘Nothing’ to him comprised of fixing cars or playing guitar hero.
  He was dressed like he normally was, casually and with little attention to detail. Jeans, slogan shirt, and a pair of old DC’s that really needed renewing; I rarely saw him anything else. Well, I won’t go into that.
  “Who is this? It’s friggin spastic!” I said, sitting on the edge of his bed, practically bowling him over with enthusiasm.
  “Dragon Force,” he said laughing a little, sitting up. I was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. I knew now, and tablature was in definite order; a new challenge.
  “Must have,” I said, almost mechanically. I kicked off my black Etnies and sat crossed legged on his bed facing him. I blinked and found myself staring at the fleshy in his left ear. “Where did you get it?” I asked, calming a little. He smiled and picked up the Guitar Hero ‘X-Plorer’ controller; the same one that I had attacked with my art 6 months ago. I frowned.
  “Like, on there?” I said, pointing to the Playstation on the floor. He nodded and I frowned. I had watched him go through every song on there; every single one of them.
  “It’s on there,” he said leaning over and switching the telly and playstation on. “I still can’t get through it though,” he laughed slightly, as the game loaded up.
  I paused as he flicked through the menus, before stopping on ‘Through Fire and Flames’. Sure enough, ‘Dragon Force’ was scrawled under it.
  “Oh muh gawd,” I said, slapping a hand onto my forehead. “No Shit, I should have known that,” I sighed. Through Fire and Flames was on the CD that he gave me.
  “Blonde moment?” he questioned. I laughed, and flicked the CD around my index finger. “I want tabs,” I suddenly blurted out. He pointed to the computer in the corner of his room.
  “You know where it is,” he said, opening through fire and flames, attempting to better his previous score. I pushed myself off of the bed, and turned the computer on, sitting on the gas lift chair that I had named the ‘Spinney Chair Thing’.
  I opened the internet, and watched as Google popped in front of me. I looked down to the keyboard, and typed Dragon Force Tabs, subconsciously listening to the familiar sound of Axel chugging away at the small X-plorer.
  “Wow,” I said softly to my self, now staring at the tablature downloading on the screen. Not only was it complex, it was unfamiliar. The positions were different, the tapping was in weird places, and the tremolo was used in the weirdest way; by using the weight of the guitar, rather than fighting with the inactive section in the thread on the bridge. It made sense when I thought back to where the tremolo was used. It sounded cleaner, crisper, and a hell of a lot faster.
  But still, I couldn’t ‘see’ the notes hitting the frets. I backed up to Google, and refined my search a little more. This time to ‘Through Fire and Flames sheet music’. I hit enter and waited, still hearing the same song in the background.
  This time I got what I wanted. Actual music that I could understand. Each dot on the page lent itself to my eyes, and I could now see where my hand was on the neck, and where my fingers were supposed to go.
  “Oh my god, that’s cool,” I said a little more audible, catching Axel’s attention. I sighed in a massive ‘mugasm’, as I heard the game in the background pause mid-song. I looked up as I felt Axel look over my right shoulder.
  “Is that it?” he asked quietly, leaning an elbow onto my shoulder. I nodded, and flicked my eyes toward him, and then back to the monitor.
  “Can print it?” I asked, putting the cursor over the print button. I waited for him to nod before clicking it, hearing the printer rev to life.
  “Woops,” I laughed, when it spat out the 14th and final page. “It’s long,” I said, reaching for the small pile of paper, flicking through the pages. “That would be an awesome party piece,” I said again, still impressed by every note.
  “No kidding,” Axel, said looking down at the music. “I don’t get it,” he said bluntly. I chuckled a little; he wasn’t into reading music. He always joked about it when I was reading sheet music and trying to explain it; it never worked in his head.
  “I’m gonna learn it,” I said lazily. I knew it would take a while, but I needed a challenge. I leant back on the chair, and jumped as my phone beeped with a message.
  “WAH!” I gasped. Axel just laughed as I reached into my pocket and pulled out my black Nokia side phone. I flipped it open, and frowned when I read who it was from.
  “It’s from Karma,” I said to Axel as he sat on my knee. “She had a spaz before I left the tracking rooms. Listen to this,” I said flicking through the message. I sighed a little before reading.
  “You always do this, Spike. I’m so sick of your stupid attitude. It’s driving me up the wall. Quit with the attitude, or I’m out,” I read, speaking slowly but with an angered tone in my voice. I sighed as Axel ran a hand through my hair. “Why I’m even bothering with it, I dunno,” I trailed off.
  “Just leave then,” Axel started matter of factly. “You know you’re letting yourself down if you stay with them,” he finished. I hated that; when he could read my thoughts like an open book. He was right though. I needed a new challenge. I wasn’t pushing myself anymore.
  “They’re my best mates though,” I sighed, thinking about when we played our first real gig. The four of us were so excited and nervous at the same.

I remember back to that thrill, our band ‘Chaser’s’ first real gig. I still felt like it was to good to be true. I picked up my black Ibanez RG370DX, that I had named ‘The Platinum Lotus’,for effect. I put it over my knee and fiddled with the strings impatiently. I just wanted to get out there and play, the anticipation was overwhelming.
  “You ready?” Karma questioned, pulling up her pants. I laughed and looked down at the skinny leg jeans that refused to stay up that would be disastrous on stage.
     “Here,” I said pulling my belt off and handing it to her. She thanked me, and started pulling it through the loops on her jeans. I stood up heavily, and put the guitar strap on my Ibanez over onto my shoulder. Looking down at the strings, then moving my eyes down over the body, and finally settling onto the pickups. I put my hand on the neck and moved my fingers over the dark wood, using a trick that I had seen Joe Satriani display on You Tube. It had become my warm up these days, rather than just a little party piece that I would show off to my friends on weekends.
  “Wow, look at them all,” I heard Chris say, spinning a drumstick over his fingers. I looked him up and down, still thinking to myself that he really need to put meat on his bones. His practicing made him all muscle, and he was already naturally skinny. He wore a long T-shirt with a dirty slogan that shouldn’t be allowed in public places, and a pair of really tight skinny leg jeans. Just like Karma’s but tighter and bright red. His hair was short and black, with a random chunk of white at the front. His shoes were a pair of DC’s that were a sparkly gold colour.  
  “Jumpy, jumpy!” he said with excitement clearly audible in his voice. I took a few steps toward him, careful not to hit my guitar on any of the gear. I looked over his shoulder and laughed slightly. There really wasn’t that many people; maybe, 50 or so. I mean, Battle of the Bands wasn’t the hugest concert ever put on.
  “Wow, Chris. There are MILLIONS,” I said sarcastically, laughing and turning back around. Our bass player, Michael caught my attention. He was sitting on an amp, with one hand down the leg of his shorts.
  “What the hell are you doing, bitch?” I said laughing at the awkward position he was in. he looked up to me and grinned, pulling his hand from his shorts.
  “Got it,” he said triumphantly, holding up the orange pick to show me. “I dropped it,” he laughed, trying to look innocent. I couldn’t help but think that he was the odd one out in our band; he wore a black dress shirt, with a white vest over it. His shorts were like mine, but without the pinstripes, and 3 chains attached to his belt. His shoes were plain white converse, that were still white; only because they were thrown in the wash every week.
  “Are they done?” Karma asked, looking at me oddly. I looked out onto the stage, from the wings that we were in.
“I think,” I said quietly. They had stopped playing, and it looked like they were getting ready to introduce the next band. I suddenly felt all my anticipation rise up my throat.
  “Ready guys?” I asked quietly, watching everyone gather closer to the edge of the stage. We held our breath as they called out our name, before we ran out on stage to give it all we had.

  “It was 2 years ago,” he sighed, then laughed a little. “Back in the old days, when you had the Lotus,” he grinned and looked at me happily.
  “I still haev the Lotus, I just don’t play him much,”I laughed grinning along with him. “The X-Plorer is a much better guitar,” I sighed. He stared at me and raised his eyebrows.
  “Yea, and it’s only worth two thousand bucks more,” he laughed, a little harder this time. I grinned an laughed as well. I did spend quite a bit on it; it was worth it though.
   “I gotta go, any way,” I said, controlling my laughter finally. “Mum was expecting me home half an hour ago,” I sighed, pushing him off of my knee, smirking as he landed on the floor. He sat up and looked at me sourly. I couldn’t help but giggle slightly at his face; he looked serious for once.
  “Bitch,” he laughed, finally smiling at me. I leant down and kissed him softly, before getting up to head out the door.
  “Text me later,” I said picking up my CD and the sheet music. “I won’t be doing anything anyway,” I laughed, pulling him to his feet.
  “Seeya,” he said as I walked out his bedroom door. I knew he wouldn’t follow me out, I hated people tailgating me. I headed out the front door, towards my car, pulling my key out of my pocket, and spinning them around my finger.
  I blinked and pushed my keys into the lock on the door letting myself in. I practically fell into the seat, grunting slightly with the force. I pushed the keys into the ignition and started the car, before pushing the Dragon Force CD into the slot on the CD player. I waited for it to begin playing before I reversed out of the drive and onto the road.
  I smiled lightly driving towards home, humming along to my new CD. I felt on a new level; refreshed, and balanced. All the things that had happened over the last few weeks had really got me down. But right now, sitting alone in my own domain, I felt whole again. I had missed this feeling; rather I missed being myself. I was always trying to be modest; I never wanted to look down upon Chaser, but it was becoming more and more realistic as the band moved on. I was losing interest in the whole situation, and it was rather disheartening that I felt the way I did, but I couldn’t change things.
  I finally pulled into my drive way, home at last. I ejected the Dragon Force CD and sat in my own little world for a few seconds. I took a deep breath before turning the car off, growling a little when the engine over ran itself.
   “Ugh. I hate that,” I said, picking up my belongings from the passenger side, juggling the papers, CD and wallet between my hands. I finally pulled the keys from the ignition, before getting out of the car, and shutting the door with my leg. I walked round the back of my car, unlocking the boot and dropping the music and wallet onto the carpet. I hooked the ring of my keys onto my finger and unlocked the guitar case, opening it as far as it would go, banging it slightly on the top of the small area that it was in. I held up the lid with one hand and put my things in the spare compartment on the lid, before shutting it and locking it again. I tilted it on the angle I had learned was the only way that would let the case come out, and wedged it from the boot; keys jangling all the while.
  I held the case from the handle, and held it behind me. I closed the boot, and locked the car before I walked down the pavement, towards the front door. “Walkin’ the mile, walkin’ the green mile,” I mumbled, thinking about the movie ‘The Green Mile’, that I had recently seen. I thought of it every time I walked up the drive; only because it was so long.
  I chuckled slightly to myself, before opening the door and heading inside. I headed straight to my room, pushing the door open, and looking around. I put the case onto my bed, and headed back out towards the kitchen.
  “Mum?” I said, shuffling down the hall, and into the kitchen. I found her cooking tea, chopping the veggies, and putting them into saucepans ready to boil.
  “Yum,” I said, stealing a piece of cauliflower from the chopping board. “Thanks mummo,” I said smiling at her. She laughed and kept chopping.
  “Where were you,” she said putting more veggies into the pan. I blinked and thought back to the Dragon Force CD.
  “Axel left me a CD. I went round to his, to ask him who it was,” I said happily, “I printed the music for one of the songs that I’m going to learn,” my mother smiled as I spoke.
  “Is it a good song?” she asked as I turned around to the fridge. I grinned as I pulled a bottle of coke from one of the shelves.
  “It’s really complex, like, there are a million hammer-on’s and there is this one part with the tremolo arm,” I sighed in awe, pulling a glass from a nearby cupboard, setting it down on the sink. I poured my self a glass, before I continued.
  “I think it’s gonna be a challenge, but I’ll try,” I finished, before gulping down a mouthful of the bubbly dark substance, my eyes watering with the sheer amount that had gone down my throat.
  “You will do fine, I’m sure,” she said finally before I walked out the room. “Thanks mummo,” I smiled as     I left, striding back down the hall towards my room. I blinked sleepily, pushing my door open, careful not to spill my drink. I hadn’t really noticed how tired I was, until I had walked into the comfort of my own room. I stepped over to my bed and sat next to my X-Plorer case. I sat my glass down onto my dresser table, rattling the green lamp that was sitting in the middle. I yawned, and reached over to my guitar case, and pulled it towards me. I flicked open the locks, enjoying the way that they clicked at the plastic on the case. I opened the case and pulled out the paper, I held it up and studied it carefully, as I shut the case with my other hand, feeling for the metal on the sides so I could lock it.
  “It doesn’t look too bad,” I said, sighing, “maybe I’m just tired,” I yawned quietly, looking down at my guitar case, then flicking my eyes back towards my music. this was gonna take me a while; it was a new challenge, a new skill to master.